Sunday, March 14

Man Vs Dog

A day of food and drink consumed by a man, 
and his best friend.

Water: for hangover, for life, for all.

Emmett eat blanket. Man drink tea.

Chipolatas, bacon, black 
pudding, poached egg, 
beans, bread and butter 
for one. Biscuits, bacon 
rind and a hint of blood 
sausage for the other. 
But who gets what?!

Out on the walk, it's fizzy pop for 
pop and cheesey treats for the hairy baby.


A couple of these between myself and 
fellow sporker, Mr Samuel Butler.

Lettuce, like all things in life, comes at a price. And the price is obedience. Good boy.

PHOTOGRAPH MISSING. Sorry. But it should be our Mighty Lunch 
consisting of potato salad, parma ham, vegetable samosa, green salad, 
Danish Havarti cheese, chilli olives, pitta bread and roll mops. Wowzers!!

Despite it all, there's always room for tea and chocolate, 
carrot and peanut butter cupcakes, courtesy of another 
talented sporker, Mrs Lucy Donaldson (pictured left).

So this is where it all starts to get messy.

Featured models: Mrs Donaldson, Mr Butler, Emmett, the 
Money Box Owl, Masterquiz the Boardgame, Mr Donaldson, 
and Captain Beefheart.

Featured beverages: four 
bottles of ale, four bottles 
of wheatbeer, and a lone 
bottle of calvados.

Emmett drinks water. Again. It's pretty dull.

The carrot of OBEDIENCE!

The pepper and cheese of IDIOCY!

Dinner time. 
Thai style curry: prawns, peppers, coconut, whole lotta limes, noodles, 
so on and so forth. Deeelicious.

Quite literally, a dog's dinner. Biscuits, carrot n' pepper. Not much else!

Somewhere between the fourth and tenth glass
of calvados, I still managed to find the times to
cram in a couple more cakes. Cheeky.

As the loser bows out gracefully, I go to bed. Tired, tipsy, and slightly ashamed of myself. Ta ta x


  1. I do believe this may be my favourite, although impressive amounts of drinking went on I do query the amount of eating especially as a Butler there seems too little of both. However still impressive!

  2. You're absolutely right - it was a tardy performance! We'll just have to consider this a test run and endeavor to to do better next time. I mean, if I'd really eaten and drunk SO much, then now way would there have been room for a bacon, egg and black pudding sandwich for breakfast the next day, let alone a full Sunday roast in the evening... (I disgust myself).

  3. Further messages via our facebook sight include this tasty tip from Lou Butler:
    "Scott on Knife & Spork you mention rollmops for lunch get up on the Butler Gut, or Saturday Guardian end of January, and check out Hugh Fernley W's rollmop recipe amazing."

    And this plate of green eggs and envy from Jane Wheeler:
    "Oh yummy ....My days food so much less inspiring - I want your breakfast for starters .."

    Lou: we'll check 'em out. Jane: next time I see you, I'll make you a birthday breakfast fit for a Queen. Promise x

  4. Just the thing to take my mind from certain piggy USA politicos and their overfed, intellectually undernourished, tea insulting minions.


  5. May I suggest you get a sushi type rolling conveyor belt of food, I can help supply anything bakeable but then eating can be done in vast quantities without knowledge. I feel eating yourself into a state of non existence is the only acceptable thing to do, I have seen Sam do it before, it involved sunday roast and brownies. Good luck with future food escapades. bon appetite.